Heartbroken near Heartbreak Hill

I can't begin to express the sadness as a runner, as a mother, as a human being, as an American for those who were hurt and passed away as a result of the bombings at the Boston Marathon.

As a runner, I feel the pain, feel like I was there so many times running a race......waiting for friends or my husband at the end of the race. Feeling the excitement as I crossed the finish line.....feeling just as excited for my friends and family as they cross the finish line. 

As a mother, my heart aches at the thought of losing one of my children. Three young lives were lost on Monday. Family and friends are devastated. Seeing little eight year old Martin Richard's face as he wore a Boston Bruins jersey tugged at my heart thinking of my oldest son who just turned 9. Thinking of how my son is about the same age and loves hockey as well.

As a human being and American, I wonder why someone has chose to perform such a horrible act of violence and evil at one of our country's greatest road races. I cannot understand, and I never will, why these events happen.

Will I be worried when I cross the finish line at the Pittsburgh half marathon in a few weeks? Maybe. Maybe I will just be so tired from running for 2 hours straight, I will just be looking for my husband's handsome face at the finish. Maybe I will have a bit of worry at the back of my mind. But I can guarantee that I will think of the victims as I cross that finish line and say a prayer for them.

I will not let this hold me back or change my life. The evil will not win. There is so much good in our world, and I see it every day. I see the smiles in my children's faces. I see the joy of something as simple as getting a hot dog at the hot dog card making my son's entire day exciting. I see my oldest son excited about baseball and getting a new helmet. I see my precious daughter making others smile and laugh when they are sad. I see the beauty of love and forgiveness in my parents who are best friends now after a divorce many, many moons ago. I see my husband spending hours and hours for months working on planning a 5K that raised thousands of dollars for veterans last year. I see fireman and emergency personnel helping people and risking their lives and not getting paid a penny for it. There is good in this world, and it surrounds us every day. Look around and see some today; let it comfort us all in this time of sadness.

Trucking along to Pittsburgh half marathon.....again!

As I approach running my 6th half marathon, I still am enjoying running as much as I ever did! This winter has been rough. Very cold and snowy.

But now that I have become part of a little women's running circle, my Saturday morning long runs in the freezing cold have been actually.........fun!

In December, right before Christmas, most of us got to meet up for a "Christmas run" and breakfast at a great little cafe in Greensburg, Sun Dawg Cafe. 

Usually every Saturday or, at times, Sunday, a few of us are able to get in our "long" runs. There are times that I am running with some girls that aren't doing the half, and doing the relay, but they will still get in 5-6 miles with me, and I can finish the last few with my iPod for help. 

There was one Saturday that Melissa and I ran where it was snowing sheets of snow and we felt like total bada** mothers running through it. One morning, Kelli, Chrissy, and I ran when it was 5 degrees when we started. Kelli's black hair looked like a witch's hair after because of the ice frozen in it. My eyelashes looked like Lady Gaga. One morning, Rebecca and I ran and started at 8 degrees, when we finished our 5 miles, it was 7 degrees. So we were hard core ladies this winter!

Finally the weather has gotten better, and I got to do my first run in SHORTS Monday!!

Two weeks ago, my entire family got sick, and I am still coping with a cough when I am running. I am hoping for the half marathon that I can beat last year's time of 2:06, even if it is just by a minute!

Four weeks to go!!

Reflections....

A little less than a year ago as I was pulling in my driveway, my mom pulled in my driveway behind me. It wasn't a surprise because she stops by often. She walked in the garage and said, "I have cancer." I felt like someone punched me in the chest. My mom, my rock, my best friend......what happens now?

She told me it was endometrial and we needed to meet with an oncologist in Pittsburgh as soon as possible. I held it together and we said our goodbyes. I went inside and called my husband and my best friend in Charlotte. I was so worried.

The next week, I arranged for a babysitter to attend the first appointment with her oncologist. His name was Dr. Price and he was wonderful. He helped reassure some of the worries that we had. Her hysterectomy would be in 2 weeks. They may have to take out the lymph nodes depending on if the cancer was already coming through the lining of her uterus.

I didn't sleep much the next few weeks. I had trouble doing anything without thinking about the cancer and if my beloved mother was going to be okay.

On a Wednesday morning in May, I picked up my mom about 5am and we headed to Pittsburgh to the hospital. I stayed with her until they were to take her for surgery about 6:30am and I headed to the waiting room all alone. They said they would call every 1.5 hours on the waiting room phone once the surgery started.

I had my iPad and some tests to check for the English class I was teaching at the local community college. I watched a few Desperate Housewives episodes I was behind on. I talked to another family that was sitting by me for a while. Their mom was also in surgery and the dad and two sisters and the one grandchild was there. They were very nice and concerned about my mom as well. The doctor told me that the surgery would take 4-7 hours depending on if they needed to take the lymph nodes.

They called once about 10:30 and said they would call again in 1.5 hours. It then became 1PM. I had to go to the bathroom, and I was starving, but since I was alone, I was afraid to leave the room. It was torture waiting there all alone.  Finally Dr. Price called and said he would be in the waiting room to talk to me. I was so scared.

He came and took me in a room and told me he did take the lymph nodes because it was 30% out of the  lining but not to worry. That's why the surgery took so long. He said that she would be out of recovery soon and for me to go get some lunch downstairs. I called my dad, then my husband, to tell them and got some lunch. I can't even remember eating my pizza.

The waiting room phone was for me again. My mom's recovery nurse was saying that my mom woke up and was worried nobody was going to be able to get my kids off the bus. My mother had just gone through major surgery and woke up, worried about her grandkids! This is a pure example of how selfless my mother has been all her life, putting her kids and grandkids before herself. I told the nurse that my husband was getting them.

I finally got to go to my mom's room to see her. She looked terrible. She was in so much pain. My sister got there about 3:30PM and we sat with my mom. Finally about 4:30PM, I left to head home after being gone since 5AM. I remember it was pouring. A typical May rain where it just won't stop. It was just symbolic of the tears I shed as I drove home. I was so worried about my mom all alone in the hospital. I was praying she was going to be okay. Thank god for my babysitter, my husband, and my friend Chrissy for keeping my littlest one all afternoon for me.

I'm not sure how I slept but I did. I got up the next morning, dropped off my little one at my friend Rachel's house, and headed to Pittsburgh to get my mom to bring her home since they were ready to release her.

She was in so much pain. I was so worried that they were going to be sending her home already!

We got through the next several weeks slowly. My sister had to give her a shot every day for 14 days to prevent a blood clot in her lungs. I went to her house at least once every day. I would bring the kids in small increments because she would tire out so easily.

In June, my mom began a few radiation treatments that had no serious side effects.

In October, my mom had a clear 6 month appointment! Her first milestone in this battle against cancer!

Her next appointment is in April, and I know it will be a great 1 year cancer free appointment!

This ordeal was traumatic, exhausting, but taught me about what a fighter my mom is and what a determined woman she is. I am so blessed to have a healthy mother who is in my life and happy to have been there for her to get her healthy again so we have her for many years to come.

Ready or not.....here we come!

Saturday will be a fun day! I am doing a half marathon with a few of my friends who are racing their first half marathon race!

Melissa-I met her in 2009 after we both had just had our babies (my third, her second). Her oldest and my daughter were in gymnastics together. We hit it off quick and became fast friends. Last year, Melissa lost over 80 pounds running and has done a few 5K races and 10K races. She decided in May to do this flat trail half marathon.

Kim-I pledged my sorority with Kim in 1997. Kim has had 2 boys and manages to work full time as a guidance counselor while running and doing an occasional 5K. She decided this summer to do this half marathon with us as well!

Another one of our friends from college, Melanie, just decided to run this race a few weeks ago as well. She has 2 daughters and her husband works long hours, so she has had trouble juggling the training schedule.

All 3 of my friends will do great!

I told Melissa I would run with her the whole time. We plan to stay at a 10:30 pace so we can finish between 2:15-2:20. 

I am treating this as a training run since I am doing another half marathon in October with my husband.

We are just keeping our eye on the forecast. We have had very hot weather this summer and hope that it is in the 50s or 60s!

Pittsburgh Triathlon Photos

I'm loving the pictures that were available today on the website! :)

Loooong run and fall goals!

This was definitely the group I ran with today! We went out planning to run 10 miles, which we succeeded in doing, but it was so hot and humid!

Melissa, Anne, and I planned to run 10 miles. Anne is doing the Rock and Roll Philly half in September. I met a girl, Sharon, on Run Like a Mother: The book's Facebook page. She saw my post and saw I was friends with her sister on Facebook. Sharon's nephew was on the same hockey team as my son last year. Sharon lives in San Diego and was visiting her sister for 2 weeks and wanted someone to run with. So she joined us for about 6 of our 10 miles.

It was a rough run. It was almost 80 degrees and very humid. Our average pace was super-slow for Anne and I 10:38/mile. We were happy just to get the 10 miles in.

My friend, Melissa, is running her first half Sept 8th and I am running it with her. I am treating it as a training run because I am doing a half October 20th and that will be more for a race to improve my time. Melissa has come so far. She has lost about 80 lbs in the past 2 years and has been running and doing power pump. Her progress is amazing! I want to run this with her because sometimes those last few miles are so hard and it is nice to have someone to finish it with!


My Fall Goals:

Sept 8-Half marathon with Melissa
Sept 30-Great Race 10K
October 20-Half marathon with my husband (although he is faster!)

Mixed Emotions!

If I would have written this on Saturday after the Pittsburgh Triathlon, it would have been pretty depressing and disgruntled. Now, two days later, I am feeling more positive. Reading this quote also helped:

At 3:09am, thunder woke me up. My alarm was supposed to go off at 3:11am. So I decided to get up and shower to wake me up. By 3:55am we were on the road and ready to head to Pittsburgh. We picked up my friend Jen on the way so her husband and son didn't have to get up so early and could make it down to Pittsburgh to see her finish.

We got our transition areas ready.

Tim's first transition area is ready!

My area is ready!

We were all ready to go. Tim got in the Allegheny River at 6:45 am. My wave didn't start till 7am. Our coach, Sue, reminded us several times to start out slow.

Jen and I before the race

Tim and I are ready!

I watched Tim get in the river and he was off with all the others with orange caps.

At 7am, my group was off. I felt good and swam at a slow and steady pace. I ended up way to the right of the buoys, which ended up on my left, and had to cut back. I finished my swim around 17 minutes, which I thought I would be. I am not a very fast swimmer but I swam the entire time and didn't have to turn onto my back.

I got to transition and quickly got on my bike, which always gives me anxiety.

The first 6 miles were pretty much a steady incline upward. I was very slow, as I expected but I didn't realize how tough it would get by mile 5.  The last 6 miles were downhill which scared me as well. Once I was going 14 mph, I would get so nervous, I would brake. I saw a woman crash because a guy passed her on her right and I stopped to be sure she was okay. She was just shaken up. So I went on my way. I need to learn to go fast and not be so scared. Once I passed 1 hour on the bike, I knew my goal of coming in under 2 hours was crushed. I ended up 1 hour 10 min on the bike!

I saw Tim as I made it in to the transition area. He already had his medal. I pretty much wanted to start crying then because I knew I was really behind, even though he started 15 min before me. I got my baseball cap and was off. My run went well. I only stopped once for Gatorade since I really never stopped to drink anything. My 5K was about 29 min.

I crossed the finish line at 2 hours and 20 seconds. 

I was pretty disappointed with my time. Especially when I looked online at the scores and I was last in the age group I was placed in. Even though I am 34, I was in the 35-39 group because I will be 35 this year. If I was in the 30-34 age group, there were a few women that would have finished after me.

I was happy to have my triathlon group, The Mighty Tri Girls and Total Chaos, cheering for me as I finished my 5K. They are such a supportive group and our coach, Sue, is just so amazing.

My husband was 1 hour 25 minutes. He did amazing. I was so proud of him!

So back to the original quote that "....slow progress is progress." I have to remember 15 months ago, I could not ride a bike. I was still meeting Sue behind the Sheraton for her to hold on to my seat and run beside me, holding me up. I barely knew how to do a swim stroke or breathe correctly while swimming. I have come so far in the past 15 months, plus I have 3 children and work part-time. 

So I will not quit, although Saturday afternoon, I said I wanted to quit doing triathlons. 

I will keep working hard to get better on the bike and get faster swimming.

I hope to do another all-women triathlon next summer. I really enjoyed the atmosphere much better than the triathlon with men involved. It was much more supportive and friendly.

Progress.......I have come so far.